PRIME Retreat: Oct 22-25, Northeast US: Learn More
PRIME Retreat: Oct 22-25, Northeast US: Learn More
A guided couples retreat on Waiheke Island
Places are limited. Couples of all orientations and stages welcome.
They get stuck because the same sequence takes over before either person can reach the other.
One person pushes, protests, criticizes, explains. The other defends, withdraws, goes quiet, disappears. On the surface it looks like the same old fight. Underneath, it's almost never about the argument.
Underneath is something more basic: Are you with me? Do I matter? Can I reach you?
This retreat gives you a safe, structured way to see that cycle clearly, slow it down, and begin creating something different.
"We broke through some of our deepest challenges and reconnected in a way we didn't know was possible."
Doug R., New York
What this retreat is
Based on Dr. Sue Johnson's Hold Me Tight® and Emotionally Focused Therapy, this is an experiential retreat that helps couples understand the negative cycle driving disconnection, and practice new ways of reaching each other. This New Zealand version adds MELD's somatic layer: body-based tools that help couples settle before the conversation becomes another fight.
You will not be asked to share private details with the group. The deeper work happens privately between you and your partner.
The surface problem might be money, parenting, sex, tone of voice, or feeling unsupported. But underneath, most couples are caught in something more basic.
One partner feels alone, unseen, or abandoned. The other feels blamed, overwhelmed, or like they can never get it right. Each person then protects themselves in a way that accidentally confirms the other person's fear.
The problem is not you. It is not your partner. It is the pattern that takes over between you.
Most couples know the theory. They can name their patterns in a calm moment. But when the body is flooded and the old sequence kicks in, knowing doesn't help.
This retreat is experiential. You won't just learn about connection. You will practice it, with support, in the room.
That is why a retreat changes what a conversation can't.
Couples leave with practical tools, not just understanding.
The body reacts before the mind can make sense of what is happening. When stress rises in a relationship, one partner may flood, push, or pursue. Another may go blank, withdraw, fix, or disappear. These are not character flaws. They are nervous system responses.
When those patterns run the relationship, both people lose access to the connection they actually want. Through straightforward somatic practices, couples learn to track what is happening in the body, settle enough to return to each other, and say what is actually true.
Owen brings this layer from more than fifty years of working with men's stress physiology and relational repair. It does not replace Hold Me Tight. It makes the emotional work more accessible, especially for men who go blank when asked what they feel.
Reduce physiological threat. Slow the nervous system down enough for something else to become possible.
Let emotional signals become conscious. The honest feeling that was underneath the argument finally has room to show up.
Re-engage from a more honest, less defended place. This is where real contact happens.
Teaching, guided couple conversations, somatic practices, and integration time.
Settle in, meet the facilitators, understand the frame. Begin seeing the pattern as the shared challenge, rather than each other as the problem.
Learn how couples get caught in pursuer-withdrawer patterns, protest, shutdown, defensiveness, and distance. Name what has been happening.
Identify the tender places underneath reactivity. Learn how each partner's body responds when safety disappears from the relationship.
Practice slowing down, speaking more honestly, and listening without defending, fixing, or withdrawing.
Learn how to come back after disconnection. Create practical repair rituals you can use at home.
Leave with a clearer map of your cycle, a shared language, and practices you can continue. A renewed sense of safety, friendship, and possibility.
Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist · EFT Practitioner · HMT Presenter and Mentor
Dalia has spent decades helping couples move from disconnection into safer emotional contact. She works with warmth, depth, and a directness that couples describe as both compassionate and practical.
She is an Emotionally Focused Therapy practitioner and an international Hold Me Tight® presenter who also trains other therapists in the model. Her work goes beyond communication skills to the attachment needs underneath the fight.
Co-Founder, MELD · Somatic Practitioner · Men's Development Leader
Owen has spent more than fifty years helping men develop the capacity to stay present, honest, and connected under pressure. He is the co-founder of MELD and the author of Grow Up: A Man's Guide to Masculine Emotional Intelligence.
He brings a body-based and men-informed approach to couples work, helping men understand what happens in their nervous system when they feel criticized, overwhelmed, or shut down, and what to do next.
Dalia and Owen bring a combination most couples retreats don't offer: EFT attachment science, Hold Me Tight structure, somatic awareness, and real experience working with men in relationship. The EFT model names what is happening. The somatic work makes it accessible. The result is a retreat that couples can actually use.
The Waiheke Men's Group connected with MELD through a recent intensive. They have experienced what happens when men practice honest, embodied, relational work together.
They want to bring that depth into the lives of the couples and families in their community. That is why this retreat is happening at all. It is not a generic relationship workshop landing in a new market. It is an invitation from men who know what is possible when people stop fighting the pattern and start working together on it.
Retreat Details
"Joan and I have been married for 42 years. You might think we've got it all figured out. Well, you know better than that. It's working your way back after all those things, figuring out how to solve the long-term issues and focusing on what's really important. The retreat and the process really did that."
W.H., South Carolina"Dalia and Owen have a gift every couple needs to experience. I am so thankful and will treasure this forever."
Casey P., Los Angeles"Hold Me Tight gave me a whole new perspective on myself and real tools to live and love more fully."
Craig C., California"I cannot state too strongly the incredible skill level that Dalia and Owen brought."
W.H., South Carolina"HMT is a particle accelerator for your relationship."
E.K., SwitzerlandCouples in acute crisis should seek qualified professional support before attending.
Will we have to share private details with the group?
No. The group teaching creates the frame, but the deeper couple conversations happen privately between you and your partner.
Is this therapy?
This is an educational and experiential couples retreat. It can be genuinely helpful, but it is not a substitute for ongoing couples therapy or crisis support.
Do we need to be in crisis to attend?
No. Some couples attend because they are struggling. Others attend because they want to deepen an already good relationship.
What if one of us is nervous or skeptical?
That is normal. The retreat is structured, respectful, and paced to help couples feel safe. You don't need to arrive knowing how to be vulnerable. The retreat helps create the conditions for that.
Is this for married couples only?
No. It is for married, partnered, engaged, and long-term committed couples of all orientations.
What makes this retreat different from other relationship workshops?
It combines the Hold Me Tight® attachment model with somatic awareness and Owen's work with men's stress physiology. Couples learn not just what their cycle is, but how it lives in the body and how to interrupt it before it takes over. The MELD layer is especially useful for men who go quiet or blank when the relationship heats up.
They change when couples have a new experience together. This retreat gives you time away from the normal pressures of life to see the pattern, understand each other differently, and practice something new.
Apply HereSomeone will be in touch with you directly. Places are limited.
Read Google reviews of Dalia's Hold Me Tight® workshops