The Phase You’re In Isn’t Broken
The Phase You’re In Isn’t Broken There’s a moment that shows up quietly for men who’ve actually done some work. Nothing collapses. Nothing explodes. Life keeps functioning. But something that used to work—emotionally, relationally, internally—stops. The conversations feel thinner. The practices feel dull. Effort no longer produces the same return. You’re not falling apart, but […]
The Third Body: Why Congruence Is a Group Event
Why Alignment Feels Like Safety Congruence Isn’t Just an Inside Job Most of the men I work with come to believe that congruence is an inside job. Get clear. Get aligned. Match what you feel with what you say and do. It’s a clean idea, and it sounds right. It just doesn’t work as well […]
Why Talking Isn’t Enough: The Three Layers That Transform Relationships
Why Talking Isn’t Enough: The Three Layers That Transform Relationships Most of us try to fix our relationships by talking. We analyze, we explain, we negotiate, we try to make sense of what just happened. And when that doesn’t work, we talk some more. The mistake isn’t in speaking — it’s in assuming that words […]
From Fear to Belonging: Repairing the Fractured Emotional Field
From Fear to Belonging: Repairing the Fractured Emotional Field We’re taught to treat emotions like private property—my anger, your sadness, his fear, her joy. That belief fits a culture that exalts the individual above everything else. But it’s not how human beings actually work. In lived experience, emotions are relational and ecological. They don’t begin […]
Trapped in Therapy-Speak: How Labels Are Replacing Life
Trapped in Therapy-Speak: How Labels Are Replacing Life A Culture of Labels Conversations today often sound like mini-therapy sessions. We casually diagnose ourselves and each other: “He’s avoidant.” “She’s codependent.” “That’s trauma bonding.” These once-clinical terms have migrated into everyday life, becoming shorthand for who we are and how we relate. Why? Because labels give […]
MELD vs IFS: How Nervous System Work Complements Parts-Based Therapy
MELD vs IFS: How Nervous System Work Complements Parts-Based Therapy We are often asked about how the work at MELD compares to IFS (Internal Family Systems) therapy. Both work with the parts of ourselves from which we become disconnected because of trauma, stress, lack of safety, lack of connection, and our culture. A few years […]
Reclaiming the Real: How Men Can Return to Creativity, Community, and Struggle
Reclaiming the Real: How Men Can Return to Creativity, Community, and Struggle A continuation of last week’s: PART 1: THE GREAT SHIFT – FROM MAKERS TO WATCHERS When men stopped making, something vital went missing. Not just from the culture. From our nervous systems. Because being a man isn’t about being in charge or having […]
From Makers to Watchers: Why Men Feel Lost in a World of Consumption
From Makers to Watchers: Why Men Feel Lost in a World of Consumption There’s a quiet tragedy unfolding around us—so quiet that most men don’t even notice it happening. We’ve been told we’re more connected, more informed, and more entertained than ever before. But beneath the constant ping of updates and endless options, a deeper […]
Outgrowing the Mother: A New Model of Masculine Maturity
Outgrowing the Mother: A New Model of Masculine Maturity Why men need more than emotional safety — and how challenge, structure, and leadership complete the arc of development I sought to become more sensitive to succeed in my relationships with women. I became good at it. Women felt safe with me. Slowly, I realized that […]
Why He Tries to Fix It. What He’s Really Looking For
Why He Tries to Fix It. What He’s Really Looking For The truth beneath the urge to “solve” From an early age, most men are trained to fix. We’re taught that our worth comes from providing, protecting, and solving problems. And yes, in many ways, we’re good at that. Culture reinforces it. Relationships echo it. […]