From Fear to Belonging: Repairing the Fractured Emotional Field
From Fear to Belonging: Repairing the Fractured Emotional Field We’re taught to treat emotions like private property—my anger, your sadness, his fear, her joy. That belief fits a culture that exalts the individual above everything else. But it’s not how human beings actually work. In lived experience, emotions are relational and ecological. They don’t begin […]
Trapped in Therapy-Speak: How Labels Are Replacing Life
Trapped in Therapy-Speak: How Labels Are Replacing Life A Culture of Labels Conversations today often sound like mini-therapy sessions. We casually diagnose ourselves and each other: “He’s avoidant.” “She’s codependent.” “That’s trauma bonding.” These once-clinical terms have migrated into everyday life, becoming shorthand for who we are and how we relate. Why? Because labels give […]
MELD vs IFS: How Nervous System Work Complements Parts-Based Therapy
MELD vs IFS: How Nervous System Work Complements Parts-Based Therapy We are often asked about how the work at MELD compares to IFS (Internal Family Systems) therapy. Both work with the parts of ourselves from which we become disconnected because of trauma, stress, lack of safety, lack of connection, and our culture. A few years […]
Reclaiming the Real: How Men Can Return to Creativity, Community, and Struggle
Reclaiming the Real: How Men Can Return to Creativity, Community, and Struggle A continuation of last week’s: PART 1: THE GREAT SHIFT – FROM MAKERS TO WATCHERS When men stopped making, something vital went missing. Not just from the culture. From our nervous systems. Because being a man isn’t about being in charge or having […]
From Makers to Watchers: Why Men Feel Lost in a World of Consumption
From Makers to Watchers: Why Men Feel Lost in a World of Consumption There’s a quiet tragedy unfolding around us—so quiet that most men don’t even notice it happening. We’ve been told we’re more connected, more informed, and more entertained than ever before. But beneath the constant ping of updates and endless options, a deeper […]
Outgrowing the Mother: A New Model of Masculine Maturity
Outgrowing the Mother: A New Model of Masculine Maturity Why men need more than emotional safety — and how challenge, structure, and leadership complete the arc of development I sought to become more sensitive to succeed in my relationships with women. I became good at it. Women felt safe with me. Slowly, I realized that […]
Why He Tries to Fix It. What He’s Really Looking For
Why He Tries to Fix It. What He’s Really Looking For The truth beneath the urge to “solve” From an early age, most men are trained to fix. We’re taught that our worth comes from providing, protecting, and solving problems. And yes, in many ways, we’re good at that. Culture reinforces it. Relationships echo it. […]
The Real Problem Isn’t Men. It’s What We Were Taught.
The Real Problem Isn’t Men. It’s What We Were Taught. It’s Not a Gender War. It’s a Relational Rupture. And We Can Heal It. Masculinity is a word we rarely hear men use. It’s mostly researchers, commentators, or media personalities who throw it around. Most men are just trying to live their lives. Few are […]
Why She Doesn’t Want You to Fix It
Why She Doesn’t Want You to Fix It Men: She’s not asking for a solution — she’s asking for you. From an early age, most men are trained to fix. We earn our value by providing, protecting, and solving problems. And, often, women want us to fix things. The broken faucet. The tech issue. The […]
How to Help a Young Man
How to Help a Young Man A woman on our newsletter list asked me how she could help her 19-year-old son “turn into a good man.” Here is my response: My best recommendation is to have him be around mature men. It could be a dad, teachers, coaches, uncles, mentors…. Here are some other resources: […]