Basking in the glow from our Prime Retreat in Joshua Tree this past weekend, I am more than reminded of the power that a community of men can create, I am transformed by that community. Thirty men — with the support of an amazing staff — created a transformation by  teaching and experiencing the MELD Method.

In 1969, anthropologist Colin Turnbull studied the BaMbuti people of the Congo Basin, documenting a fascinating phenomenon: when young men faced significant life transitions, they did not do so alone. Instead, the entire tribe gathered in what Turnbull called “circles of growth”: spaces where wisdom, vulnerability, and collective strength merged to shepherd men through life’s challenges.

Half a century later, in bustling cities and suburban neighborhoods across America, men sit alone in their cars, offices, and homes, wrestling with the same fundamental human needs — but without their circle.

This is the great paradox of modern masculinity: we have never been more connected through technology, yet men have never been more isolated in their emotional journey. The consequences are stark: rising rates of male loneliness, depression, and disconnection, Not because men are broken, but because we have strayed from what anthropologists, neuroscientists, and generations of wisdom-keepers have long understood about male development.

Consider this startling finding from the Harvard Study of Adult Development, the longest-running study on human happiness: the single strongest predictor of well-being is not wealth, achievement, or even physical health; it is the quality of our relationships. Yet modern society has systematically dismantled the very structures that once facilitated deep male connection.

Traditional therapy asks men to sit in sterile offices, speaking about emotions in ways that often feel foreign to their natural inclinations. Self-help literature floods men with abstract concepts that rarely translate into embodied change. It is as if we are trying to teach fish to climb trees, then wondering why they struggle.

But what if there is another way? What if the solution is not to reinvent masculinity, but to rediscover what we have always known about how men naturally grow and thrive?

This is where the science of emotional development intersects with ancient wisdom. When researchers study the brain during moments of authentic connection, they observe something remarkable: neural synchronization — a phenomenon where two brains literally begin to mirror each other’s patterns. This is the same mechanism that allowed our ancestors to hunt together, build together, and grow together.

In tribal societies, men did not need to schedule “vulnerability sessions”; their growth was woven into the fabric of daily life, supported by the presence of others who understood their journey. They moved together, breathed together, faced challenges together. Their emotional development was not a separate activity — it was as natural as learning to walk or hunt.

Modern neuroscience is now validating what these societies innately understood: men’s brains,  emotions, and bodies are wired for connection, action, and experiential learning. When emotional growth happens in community, with physical movement and real-world application, it creates lasting neural pathways that mere conversation or solitary reflection cannot match.

This understanding — that men’s emotional development is inherently communal and embodied – is not just theoretical. It is transformative. It prescribes that the path forward is not about forcing men into models that do not fit their nature, but about creating spaces that honor how men naturally learn, grow, and connect.

Imagine a place where emotional intelligence is not taught through PowerPoint but experienced through shared challenges. Where wisdom is not just heard but felt. Where growth is not a solo journey but a collective adventure. This is not a new concept; it is  perhaps the oldest one we know. And it might just be exactly what modern men need in order to thrive.

The question is not whether men can grow and change — they always have. The question is whether or not we are willing to return to what has always worked: the power of brotherhood, the wisdom of embodied learning, and the transformative potential of genuine connection.

What might happen if we stopped trying to fix men and started creating the conditions where they naturally thrive? For four days in Joshua Tree, CA, we did not fix; we connected to disconnected places in ourselves, allowing us to connect to other men in authentic ways where we created what our ancestors had. Every man left with his ancestral roots watered.