We recently had the honor of bringing the author and world-renowned developer of Polyvagal Theory, Stephen Porges, PhD, accompanied by his son and co-author Seth Porges, to one of our Session events.

We dove into what our biology is hardwired for and how we can use that wiring to increase our health, connections, and happiness. From five decades of leading the research on what we call emotional physiology, Dr. Porges and his teams have changed how we view trauma, stress, healing, connection, and even sound.

We crossed paths several decades ago when he did research on what became his Polyvagal Theory with a colleague of mine, John Cottingham, a fellow Rolfer. Dr. Porges went on to be our first research director for the Rolf Institute. With what I learned from Peter Levine, PhD, and Dr Porges, I crafted my new approach to men’s work. After a few decades of applying their research and development in my clinical practice, I thought, why not apply it to helping men?

I expected that the approach would work because it worked with my clients. What I did not expect was how this new approach developed a life of its own. Requests from men and organizations to learn it prompted me to create three businesses, MELD being the third with Duncan and Mike. 

In this conversation, we touch on some unique ways MELD has adapted and applied what Dr. Porges has created in working with men to help them respond to stress and heal from trauma.

Understanding the Polyvagal Theory

Dr. Porges introduced us to the Polyvagal Theory, which illustrates how our nervous system responds to our environment and influences our social behaviors and emotional regulation. The theory underscores the significance of feeling safe — not just being safe — as feeling safe is paramount for mental and physical health, as well as for social engagement.

Key Takeaways for the MELD Community

1. The Importance of Neuroception in Emotional Wellness Dr. Porges discussed “neuroception,” a term he coined to describe how our nervous systems constantly gauge risk and safety in our environment, often outside of our conscious awareness. This system can lead to physiological states that either promote connection and calm or trigger defensiveness and social withdrawal.
2. Social Engagement System and Co-regulation A pivotal aspect of Polyvagal Theory is the social engagement system, which becomes activated in safe environments and allows for open, meaningful social interactions. Dr. Porges highlighted the role of facial expressions, vocal tone, and listening in activating this system, which helps in building trust and connection — key elements in our group sessions and personal relationships.
3. The Pathway to Resilience Through Play and Social Interaction Engagement does not just help us feel better; it also builds resilience. Play and joyful interactions engage the ventral vagal complex, part of the parasympathetic nervous system, fostering a state of relaxation and openness. This enhances our ability to connect with others and allows us to move in and out of stress states more healthily.
4. The Critical Role of Safety in Therapy and Personal Growth Safety is the bedrock upon which successful therapy and personal growth rest. We quickly discovered that creating environments where men feel safe enough to explore and express their vulnerabilities is crucial. Dr. Porges’s insights into how safety influences physiological states provide a valuable framework for enhancing our practices.

Applying Polyvagal Principles in Everyday Life

Dr. Porges’s work offers practical strategies that can be integrated into our daily activities to improve our emotional and physiological well-being. Skills such as mindful breathing, which can stimulate the vagus nerve and promote a calm, safe state, are simple yet powerful tools we encourage within our community.

Dr. Porges’s session was not just an education; it was a call to action for all of us to continue fostering environments of safety, understanding, and connection. His research validates and expands upon the foundational principles of our community — using body-based knowledge and science-rooted approaches to transform lives.

We are immensely grateful to Dr. Porges for sharing his wisdom and to all participants who continue to journey with us toward greater emotional freedom and understanding.

Here is the transcript of the recorded video of Stephan and Seth Porges’s conversation with the MELD team.