The greatest gift you can give your children is a regulated nervous system.
Children of any age learn through behavior modeling — especially from their parents. Working on your ability to regulate your own nervous system therefore teaches them how to regulate their own nervous systems. Showing them that you prioritize emotional awareness and regulation, teaches them to prioritize it for themselves.
Just as your father’s behaviors are baked into your operating system, so yours will be in your children. Whether or not your father was a grounded, resilient, and vulnerable presence in your life, you can become exactly that in the eyes, and in the lives of your children.
Somatic awareness helps you to understand your own triggers, and how to manage them, while offering an understanding of your children’s feelings and actions as well. Emotional fluency can expand your Window of Tolerance, allowing you to stay calm and regulated amidst a broader range of stress. Plus, it’s a great way to model healthy coping mechanisms for your kids in real time. Focusing on your mind-body connection allows you to nurture yourself and your kids at the same time.
Somatic fluency, emotional awareness offers a way to identify, understand, and shift your patterns and behaviors, and allows you to become that role model that you always needed, and that they need you to be.
Becoming a father is one of the greatest responsibilities — and learning experiences — this life has to offer. How do you step into something that nothing can prepare you for?
A new father sheds his identity as an individual, of being the most important person in his life, the center of his own life, while hastily growing into a new, more complex identity that confronts his patterns and his limits — and exposes the ways his father comes out through him.
A new father juggles his main character identity and his supporting role.
It’s a challenge to stay grounded at the times when you feel the most tested. But being a good dad doesn’t mean never faltering, it means admitting when you’re unsure, owning that you’re overwhelmed, and having the skills to bounce back. While missteps are inevitable, clarity and resilience are essential for building a strong foundation for your family, and for creating attunement with your children and your partner.
It’s never too late to start modeling strength and openness for your children. The odds are they are struggling, in some form, to make sense of the world they have created for themselves. Whether or not your relationship is close, you are very much a part of how they perceive the world, form their values, and respond to stress.
It’s not uncommon to feel as though you are blamed for their struggles. Do you fear their opinion of you? Do you experience anger, shame, or sadness when you think about your relationship? That’s normal. I guarantee if you showed up tomorrow with the willingness to share authentically and vulnerably, even if it’s imperfect, with the tools to stay grounded and regulated through an honest conversation, you will grow closer – no matter the starting point.
You don’t need the latest technology, apps, or a psychology degree. You have all the equipment you need: your mind, your body, and your awareness.
Copyright © 2024 - All Rights Reserved
