Formation and Men’s Work

In his recent speech, “How the Elite Rigged Society (And Why It’s Falling Apart),” David Brooks critiques the breakdown of societal structures and urges a return to moral formation and community-based renewal. His message resonates with MELD’s work over nearly three decades: helping men reclaim emotional leadership and foster meaningful relationships through science-backed communal growth.

How the Tools to Create a Better Life and Planet Lie Within Us

1. Building Community Through Shared Growth

Brooks emphasizes that real societal change starts with strong, value-driven communities. We see this in our CORE program, a 10-week somatic training that includes a men’s group option, as well as in our membership network where men connect, support one another, and grow together. Our recent Prime Retreat demonstrated what occurs when strangers gather to develop key skills never taught to them in an emotionally safe environment.

These initiatives reflect Brooks’ vision of a society strengthened by deep, intentional relationships.

2. Moral Formation Through Emotional Intelligence

Brooks calls for moral formation as the foundation for a thriving society. Emotional intelligence and self-awareness equip men with the tools to make ethical, grounded decisions in their personal and professional lives. By learning to regulate emotions and build genuine connections, men develop the integrity and resilience necessary for leadership in their families and communities.

All men want to lead lives of integrity. However, we struggle to find ourselves because of our stress and trauma, the lack of a natural model of how to do it, and no place to learn and practice. We have heard stories of the corrupt cop who risks his life to run into a burning building to save a child. All of us have the desire to lead a worthy life. We just need a little guidance.

3. Science-based Transformation Over Outdated Models

Brooks critiques systems that no longer serve us and urges innovation. Twenty years ago, I saw the need to up-level men’s groups and men’s work. The standard model had exhausted its usefulness. It was not serving men in ways they needed. What resulted was a new model rooted in emotional physiology, polyvagal theory, and somatic mindfulness that offers an evidence-based approach to emotional wellness. Unlike traditional self-help methods, body-based intelligence with peer support helps men break through emotional stagnation in practical and lasting ways.

4. A Non-political, Collective Solution

Brooks warns against partisan solutions that deepen divisions. Our work is apolitical and nonreligious; we focus on universal emotional health, resilience, and connection principles. Our men’s groups, retreats, or coaching programs create spaces for men from all backgrounds to grow together, free from ideological barriers.

We are hardwired for connection. When we lack more authentic support, we will settle for whatever is available. This includes binging on social media, news media, porn, or organizations that use stress and survival as the attractor.

If Brooks is correct in that our society is unraveling due to a loss of moral formation and community, the way forward is not found in louder arguments or fleeting outrage. It is found in the quiet, steady work of building real relationships, cultivating emotional strength, and  grounding ourselves in something deeper than mere success or status.

The path to a better world starts with men who choose to lead not by dominance but by presence. It begins with those willing to step beyond isolation and into the growth that strengthens families, communities, and culture. The solutions we seek are not waiting for permission from broken systems; they are built every day through the courage to connect, the willingness to feel, and the commitment to forge something new together.