[00:00.13] Intro:
You’re listening to Meld Men, Stories from the Journey. Right now, somewhere out there, a man is stepping into the unknown, facing his pain or the edge of his success. He’s breaking through his barriers, shedding the armour he was told to wear, and choosing vulnerability over silence. This podcast is about that moment, the turning point where real transformation begins.

[00:45.20] Owen Marcus:
Hi, I’m Owen Marcus and welcome to our podcast for Meld, Meld Men, Stories from the Journey. This is a long podcast in the making. You could say it’s really from 30 years of me falling into this work, which I’ll talk more about in a few minutes, and then to three iterations of businesses where we’re now with Meld, and we’re here to really bring you the stories of men in the journeys of finding who they are and how they can not only succeed in life, but connect to something bigger than themselves and also to the people that they really care about, because these are skills that very few men have ever had talked to them or had an opportunity to develop.

So we want to, through this podcast, give you a taste of what is possible when men lean into their own journey to discover themselves and discover connections that maybe they never had with others.

And so, I want to introduce Tim Lee, who is our host for these podcasts. He has been involved in this work for a while, and I want him to share a bit of his journey, what brought him here, and why he has this passion for bringing men into their journeys. Tim, can you tell us a little bit about yourself?

[02:28] Tim Lee:
Hi Owen, yes I can. Talking of journeys, you may already have spotted I have an accent. I’m English, an Englishman living abroad in upstate New York for 25 years. What brought me to the States was a woman—I followed who was to become my first wife to New York.

Needless to say, that marriage didn’t last. In the process, I had a rude awakening that I wasn’t the only sane person in the world; maybe occasionally I was a little crazy myself. Once that idea got under my skin, I started to see where things weren’t matching up to what I hoped or dreamed, or what I really felt things could be. Nothing was hitting the mark.

[04:03] Owen Marcus:
Can you give us one thing that was off the mark?

Well, my marriage. I moved across oceans to be with this woman. There was love and intention, but it wasn’t enough. There wasn’t connection, there wasn’t true communication. I was still hiding as an Englishman. Moving to America was a rude awakening; we do things differently in Europe. It became clear I had a lot to learn and a long way to go if I wanted to really connect with people.

[05:12] Tim Lee:
Being in community—either with a loved one or more generally—helped me recognize feelings I couldn’t name before, like loneliness. A lot of men feel the same.

Owen Marcus:
How did you experience that? How did you come to that realization, Tim, you know, being with other men or being in these men’s groups? What was the trigger?

Tim Lee:
The trigger was seeing myself in other men. This really came to a full point when I met you at an Everyman retreat just up the road. Seeing myself in these other men, even though the details of their stories were often quite different, was familiar underneath: stories of disconnect and loneliness—not “woe-is-me” loneliness, but just…

[06:50] Tim Lee:
Why am I doing everything on my own? Like, why do I feel I have to carry everything and process everything entirely on my own when there are fabulous people around me who care? Yet I insist on doing it all myself. Sometimes that can be positive, but in relationships, it’s not.

We often see things first in others. If the environment is safe, we can slow down, recognize ourselves in them, and see how we struggle similarly. It was like the crumbling of my first marriage and being aware I didn’t want that to happen again. I want something more.

[08:40] Owen Marcus:
A friend had mentioned Everyman. I Googled it and saw a retreat coming up. I had this moment with the group of 50–60 men. You asked, “Who wants to work?” I had no idea what that meant. I stood up, said, “I want to work.” It turns out you worked with another guy and it was incredible to see how much of what he went through matched me. That was the moment I realized there’s something really here.

Since then, it’s ongoing. You peel back layers and see more of yourself in other men, and they see more of themselves in you. Positive feedback enriches life. I feel softer, curious, more free—less certain, more freedom.

[10:30] Owen Marcus:
Your relationship now is different because of how you’re showing up.

Well, it still exists. Relationships are never easy, but I’m in it. Thank goodness. Thank goodness I volunteered to speak to other men. For many, it was finding other men to do it with. In this culture, we often avoid that.

[12:05] Owen Marcus:
Now, my story: I struggled in elementary school, later found out I had dyslexia and Asperger’s. Studied somatic therapies in Boulder, Colorado, then moved to Scottsdale/Phoenix and created an integrated medical clinic. Relationships weren’t fulfilling, and I had to get honest with myself.

The final catalyst: a partner said, “I don’t feel you.” I realized she wasn’t feeling me because I wasn’t feeling myself. I was stuck in intellectual mode, disconnected from body and emotions. I started working with men, began my first men’s group in 1995, and refined over decades. Sandpoint Mints Group in North Idaho continues strong, over 500 men involved. This laid the foundation for Everyman and Meld.

[17:10] Owen Marcus:
Over 30 years, Dahlia and I have been together nearly 10 years. Being with men taught me to connect to myself, be present, and connect to others. Practicing every week for 30 years, supported by men, gave me a safe space to see I wasn’t alone. Practicing skills in groups was key; being a pseudo-authority figure was a huge growth experience.

[19:45] Tim Lee:
Has anyone recently said, “Owen, I don’t feel you”?

Not recently, but in the past year, yes. Dahlia and I are opposites. Heated arguments arise, but we reconnect. She’s a couples therapist, and we do trainings and retreats together. I still catch myself in “fix-it” or intellectual mode when she wants emotional mode, which triggers disconnection.

[21:30] Tim Lee:
This illustrates that growth is ongoing. Men’s groups hold you accountable week after week. Thank you for sharing. Any parting words?

[21:50] Owen Marcus:
I invite men and women to listen to these podcasts. Hear men telling stories, seeing sides of men hidden in all of us. It gives hope: “I’m not alone. I’m not more messed up than anyone else.” Realizing we’re all screwed up is a great release and a catalyst for men to start their journey. We’re here to support you.

Beautiful. Marcus, thank you, and stay tuned for Meld’s Stories from the Journey.

[23:25] Tim Lee:
Remember: your growth journey is never linear, perfect, or complete. Each step, vulnerability, and moment of courage matters. You’ve been listening to Meld Men, Stories from the Journey, where true strength isn’t about being invincible, but being real.